The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
