i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
