I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
