I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
