I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
