She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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