about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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