my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
