i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
