Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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