I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
