I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
false alarm. still invincible.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Randomize