could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
there is puke in my bra ... again
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
