Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
