Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
