just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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