I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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