Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
