he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
