This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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