Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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