I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
