VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
