If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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