Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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