I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
