I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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