the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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