My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
