so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
