In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If I die, sorry about rent.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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