You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
