I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
