i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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