you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
