after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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