Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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