allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
