i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
