He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
