Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
