No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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