Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
