Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
