just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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