if we break up, who will get the dealer?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
