I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Floor bacon is actually really good
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