Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
