Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
