is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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