It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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