that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize