I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
