forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think my vagina is haunted
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
