I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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