I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
