I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
