Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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