DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
