Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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