Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
