If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize