I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
